Monday, 15 April 2013

Choose How You use your Weapons With Care

Are you a murderer?
I know I am, I haven't Killed a lot of people..only a few, but I suppose murder is murder right?

Now before you drop your PC and run to call 10111 let me explain...

The Average tongue is only 10cm long, yet it has the power to build or break a nation, hell it can even make or break a whole generation.
When I was younger I could destroy a whole army with temper tantrums and hateful words,(ask the people I use to work with) but there's something that happens in the human brain when you make the transition from child to adult. something happens to your thought and behaviour pattern, suddenly something keeps you from just exploding and blurting out what you are feeling and you stand back and think of the consequences of what you are about to say.For some it happens at 18, for others this transition only takes place in their 30's and Sadly  few never make the transition and go forth in life bringing up kids who just go about life mimicking what they see and hear.
I can almost guarantee you if I child grows up with parents screaming and fighting their way through every situation, that they will handle their situations the same way.
But if a child grows up with role models who handle situations in a positive way, they will grow up to be Adults who thinks things through without premature blow ups.
The Tongue is incredibly hard to tame. All kinds of wild animals have been tamed but the tongue is the most difficult and problem causing organ in the human body so to speak.
The tongue is a very, very powerful weapon that can be used from aiding your digestive system to breaking or building someones spirit, and it does not matter what you believe in or what you read there's always a Word of Caution to Man Regarding the tongue.
What Does the Bible say?
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue; those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:21
"Getting treasures by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapour for those who seek death." Proverbs 21:6
"Whoever guards his mouth and his tongue keeps his soul from troubles." Proverbs 21:23
"By patience a ruler is persuaded. A soft tongue breaks the bone." Proverbs 25:15
"Where there is much talk there will be no end to sin, but he who keeps his mouth shut does wisely." Proverbs 10:19
"The tongue of the righteous is like choice silver. The heart of the wicked is of little worth." Proverbs 10:20
"The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but the perverse tongue will be cut off." Proverbs 10:31
"He who has a poor opinion of his neighbour has no sense, but a wise man keeps quiet." Proverbs 11:12
"There is one who speaks rashly like the piercing of a sword, but the tongue of the wise heals." Proverbs 12:18
"Truth's lips will be established forever, but a lying tongue is only momentary." Proverbs 12:19
"The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of fools gush out folly." Proverbs 15:2
"A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but deceit in it crushes the spirit." Proverbs 15:4
"The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from Yahweh (God)." Proverbs 16:1
"An evildoer heeds wicked lips. A liar gives ear to a mischievous tongue." Proverbs 17:4
"One who has a perverse heart doesn't find prosperity, and one who has a deceitful tongue falls into trouble." Proverbs 17:20
"Even the foolish man, when he keeps quiet, is taken to be wise: when his lips are shut he is credited with good sense." Proverbs 17:28
"The north wind brings forth rain: so a backbiting tongue brings an angry face." Proverbs 25:23
"A lying tongue hates those it hurts; and a flattering mouth works ruin." Proverbs 26:28
"One who rebukes a man will afterwards find more favour than one who flatters with the tongue." Proverbs 28:23
"Have you seen a man who is quick with his tongue? There is more hope for a foolish man than for him." Proverbs 29:20
In Islam they say:
The tongue has power unlimited for either power over good and bad. The dangers and harms of tongue are many and there is no rescue, from them except silent 'Silence is a rule and few people can observe it', 'If a man can give me guarantee of the things placed between his two cheeks and his two thighs, I can give him guarantee of paradise.'
Do not haphazardly speak without a need. Once uttered, you no longer control the words, but they control you." That is, once you speak a word it will be to your benefit if it is good. However, if it is sinful, then it will be written against you and will require a valid repentance.
The tongue is the thing that deserves imprisonment most he made the tongue witness to what is in the heart, as mentioned by the great scholars of Islam. Words of goodness reflects what is in the heart, as sinful or blasphemous words reflect what is in the heart.
Do you know what Backbiting -Ghee bah is?It is to mention something about your brother (in his absence) that he would hate. It was said, 'What if what I say about my brother is true? If what you said about him is true then you would have backbitten him, and if it is not true, then you would have slandered him.
What  Buddha Say about the tongue:
"The tongue like a sharp knife... Kills without drawing blood." 
Let us now consider Right Speech. What a wonderful thing is speech, for just a word can change a man's whole outlook towards good. and evil. Are we not really fortunate in this gift which is denied to animals? Yet how few of us care to use it for our own and others' welfare. Much trouble and misunderstanding could be avoided if only people would be more thoughtful and gentle in what they say and more accurate and sincere in what they write.
Speech is a gift of great value since through it we can express thoughts and ideas which can be shared with others. But if the tongue, which is boneless and pliable, is allowed to become unruly, it can play havoc. Is it not responsible for much strife and trouble from squabbles between families to wars between nations? If man could but tame his tongue, would not the world be a far better place to live in?
And a few other Life's quotes on the tongue says:
Whatever is in the heart will come up to the tongue." Persian Proverb
"One reason a dog is such a lovable creature is his tail wags instead of his tongue"
"You can speak well if your tongue can deliver the message of your heart." John Ford
"The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust" Josh Billings
"Before the tongue can speak, it must have lost the power to wound." Peace Pilgrim
"Better slip with foot than tongue" Benjamin Franklin
"At table keep a short hand; in company keep a short tongue." Turkish Proverb
"It does not always pay to have a golden tongue unless one has the ability to hold it" Paul Johnson
"When the heart is full the tongue will speak" Scottish Proverb
"I prefer tongue-tied knowledge to ignorant loquacity." Marcus Tullius Cicero
"A knife-wound heals, but a tongue wound festers."Turkish Proverb
"A distinguished diplomat could hold his tongue in ten languages."
"Man's tongue is soft, and bone doth lack; yet a stroke therewith may break a man's back." Benjamin Franklin
"A sharp tongue is the only edge tool that grows keener with constant use." Washington Irving quotes
So there we have it, no matter what you believe in, Man is warned time and again about the dangers of the tongue, it is a weapon it can be used to do good or bad,Murder or give life and as a mother of a Boy I would like for him to go into this world and do his part to better the human race and not do harm, that is what all parents want for their children, so lets start by being an example to our kids, instead of speaking out of anger, or resentment or fear let us speak life, Let us react not in anger but through thoughtfulness, let us speak words of kindness and love and do our part in building a generation of people who will speak only good, because in our words is our actions! And if at the root of our actions are good words only then and the alone will there be hope for humanity.

Wednesday, 3 April 2013


And So within a few hours a celebration of my 34th year of life awaits me, and as I look back on my life I can't help but feel too fat, too unhealthy, not good enough, not happy with the grey hair and sad about the wrinkles. The era of my  skinny body and smooth and silky skin feels like ages ago..
But So much has changed, I have grown into a woman, a wife and a mother..I have in comparison matured gracefully and I can't help but forget about the worries I mentioned above..
I have a husband who loves me, a son who adores me and friends who cares.
I have a warm bed at night, the safety of a building I call home, I have both my parents giving me hugs and cheering me on in my race of life, I have a mother in law who finally respects me and cares for me like I am her own.
I have two brothers who will fight to the death to protect me, I have a God who thinks I am perfect and special.
I have the gift of sight, and the joy of sound.
I have the ability to walk on the grainy sands along the ocean...
And I feel guilty, because in life these are all that's really important!

What is it in this life that makes us feel like there's always something more that we need to do, something we have not yet achieved?
Why is it that we find ourselves competing to be "The Perfect Woman" and then feel like we are always falling short in the "Mrs. Perfect" Department?
Why is it that we look at some woman and think to ourselves that we wish we could be more like them?
They make being a mom, a boss, a wife an entertainer and a friend look so easy?
They just glide through life solving problems without breaking a sweat, answers questions with not one missed heartbeat? Mrs. Calm in a panic stricken situations, Mrs I can eat as much strawberry cheesecake and not gain 1kg? Miss I baked a 100 cupcakes for the school bake sale and still Never have one hair out of place not even one imperfection on her perfectly made up face..and she does this having 4 kids?? Jealousy creeps in and your perfectly rose coloured heart beats slower as the darkness of the green eye monster chokes the life out of it...

Because we choose to..Yes it is that simple..We choose to put ourselves down because in our mind society has these high expectations of what the perfect wife , mother and woman is..
If you wake up every morning thankfull, gratefull and loved by child and husband then you are pretty darn perfect..
A friend I use to hold dearly told me once that at their church they had stones in front where their preacher preached, On each stone it said I CHOOSE, and the message that was preached was that every emotion you have is a choice that you make, If you lose your temper and get angry, that is a choice!
So tonigh at the dawn of a new year I CHOOSE to celebrate a life of a phenomenal woman, a woman who admits she is not perfect to herself but to her loved ones she's the best.
A woman who Chooses to accept that I might not have the small body I use to have, but that my curves makes me who I am, A woman who chooses to embrace life,change and her imperfections and live. A Woman who chooses not to imprison herself with her own low self esteem any longer,A woman who Chooses to Love Life , Love God and Love Herself, Because my dear fellow phenomenal women, once you let Go and Let God your life Will change drastically, amazingly, beautifully and nothing can make your sunshine disappear any longer , you will realise that age does not matter But the measure in how much joy you have lived life with and how much of that you have shared with your fellow man  That is really all that Matters the gift of sharing love, life and joy
So let's all go out tomorrow and choose to live, laugh and love not just ourselves but also the people around us